Lost

So I'm writing about something real and I 'm not even sure why I'm writing a blog about it when I don't understand it myself but ah well.
For a little over a week now, every morning when I wake up I'm consumed by anger. Not being able to remember my dreams I don't know if it is a dream that is triggering me or something else. All I know is that every morning I have to will the anger back so I can face myself, my children...my life with something besides anger. I feel tears...that I know I need to shed but getting the release has proven to be difficult.
I don't know what to do. I am hesitant to get on any medication because I hate having to depend on a pill for my sanity; and the times in the past when I have tried (over 4 now)it always falls apart and I end up having to go through some psycho with-drawls.
I'm lost within my own mind and soul. Trying to continue to breath and count my many, many blessings. And not let the darkness win.